Our Core Family Values (And How To Write Your Own)
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Last week Ryan and I were able to sneak away to Portland for a few days. We had so much fun exploring the city, and all the natural beauty that surrounds it. There is nothing like a few days away with just your hubby to refresh and recharge! One of our goals for the trip was to talk about and come up with our Family’s Core Values. The things we want to be really intentional about pursuing ourselves and instilling in our children. Things that matter that we want to remind ourselves of and that will someday be a part of our legacy.
When you have a dream, vision, or goal there will be many ways to get there. Core values are the 4-5 unwavering principles that help keep you on right path (for you & your family), achieve your goals, and set the culture. Of course, there are dozens of values that we have and hope to pass on, but we wanted to create our core values. Core values are usually no more than 5, but I’m a rebel and we landed at 6 ;)
I wanted to take time to share these here, to both encourage and inspire you to intentionally think of your own family values. I loved the time we spent discussing these together on our trip— what they mean and why they matter to us. There is nothing greater than the connection that comes when you have these beautiful, meaningful conversations together.
Love. It is important to for to have a culture of love. Love for God, love for others, and love for ourselves. We will try to embody what Love IS, and scripture tells us that love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy or boast, and it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs.
Communication. Communication is an important foundation to all healthy relationships. We will strive for openness, honesty, and intimacy.
Forgiveness. To truly forgive one another and ourselves. Including asking for forgiveness when we need to.
Gratitude. Practicing the art of gratitude. Gratitude unlocks the door to true joy, contentment, and peace.
Generosity. To live and give generously in every way— an open and generous spirit. Being generous with our time and talents as we love and serve others.
Abundance. Living with abundance, choosing not to live with a scarcity mindset. Believing that there is room for us here: room for our passions, our dreams, our adventures, our ideas, our stories.
I’m so glad we had the time to write these together. We’ve both memorized them and written them down where we can see them. If writing your own core values is something you want to do, I encourage you to make a date on the calendar with your spouse and think/pray over what those core values would be together.
Over the years, my husband has been in many strategy meetings and coaching sessions, and has learned about the importance of having core values and vision for your church or business. He really helped lead the process, and I learned so much. Here are some of our tips and things to consider.
Keep it simple. Begin by talking about and reflecting on what matters most to you. When you think about your life, your dreams, your legacy, what stands out? What are the values you want to instill and pass down some day? Why are they important to you? Start by simply reflecting and sharing and see where that leads.
Narrow it down. It can be hard to narrow down your values, but the exercise of holding to only 4-5 (or in my case 6…) helps you really hone in what’s actually core to who you are and who you want to be. Don’t rush the process. We discussed it over several days and the truth is we still might make changes, and that’s ok. If you find yourself stuck or unable to agree, then take a break and let it breath. Spend time prayerfully considering why that particular value is or isn’t a core value to you, and then try to look at it later with a fresh perspective.
Order matters. Try to order your values in a way that allows them to build upon one another. Our most important value is love, so that is number one. And for us, love is required to be able to truly live out the other values.
So there you have it! I so enjoyed doing this together and I hope you do too. I would love for you to share your values and let me know how it goes for you. ♥
From my heart to yours,
Monika
