First Fruits
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Over the years God has slowly been encouraging me and teaching me how to live a generous life. If I’m totally honest, it’s something I’ve had to work a lot at, because it didn’t always come naturally to me. My guess is it started when I was a child… That “mine” complex we all start out with as children, and that few of us ever really grow out of.
As I got older it manifested itself through our finances. I grew up with money always being pretty scarce. Because of this, even as I grew into adulthood and got married, I had a lot of fear surrounding our finances and I held on so tightly to our income. For the longest time I didn’t give it over to God. I couldn’t let go, didn’t have faith that He would provide for us. Our budget was tight and I felt like we couldn’t afford to both tithe & pay our bills, so we didn’t give at all. Ryan later came to me and told me he felt like we were supposed to start giving, and I resisted… hard. “But we can’t! We’re broke!”
And we were.
But the tithe isn’t supposed to be giving some of your leftovers. It’s the first fruits. Giving helps us to increase our faith – and it doesn’t really require much faith to give God our leftovers.
I love this verse in Proverbs: 24 “The world of the generous gets larger & larger. The world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller.” It may seem cheesy at first, but this has been so true in my life. As I’ve learned to give and to live generously, openhandedly, my world has gotten larger and larger. I’ve been entrusted with more financially, I’ve had more opportunities, I’ve been able to travel more. But before, I was always anxious and not living generously and my world was truly smaller.
Even now, though I cheerfully tithe, God continues to teach me about generosity. Now it just looks a little bit differently, and is actually regarding my time. As a busy mom of two it feels as though I rarely get a moment to breathe, let alone try to get any work done. I often feel overwhelmed with my never ending to-do list, and frequently think “there just aren’t enough hours in the the day!”
But then I hear the whisper of the Spirit say to me “give to me the first fruits of your time, and you will have plenty.” So I’ve been working to do that. To start my day with praying, reading, and learning. Giving God the first fruits of my day.
And this amazing thing happens where I am then able to go throughout my day and check off my to-do list with a happy, calm spirit instead of an anxious one. Starting my day off seeking after Him, posturing myself in an open & humble way to allow God to work in me and through me.
I want to be someone who is generous with her time & gifts, and doesn’t cower back in fear or excuses. Even when they seem justifiable. Earlier this year, I was working with a friend on launching a new MOPS group at our church. I really feel called to encourage moms & do life with fellow moms in this crazy season with littles, and I was really excited to launch this program at our church. But after having our second baby in February, I was completely overwhelmed. I had a very hard c-section recovery, I was completely exhausted, adjusting to life with two, dealing with Cora’s acid reflux & tummy troubles, and trying to find our new normal. To be honest, the idea of leading MOPS was completely overwhelming and every part of me wanted to retreat. It felt like too much. I had one foot out the door and wasn’t sure I wanted to be the one to head this thing up.
But then one day when I was praying, God asked me to just try it. To just commit to it for a season and see what it felt like. My co-coordinator who was leading our little group was going out of town – and so I decided to just commit and go “all in” and fully plan & lead our last several meetings. Sometimes for me… I just have to decide. Decide to dive in and surrender my doubt. And so I did. And this amazing thing happened where I had a renewed passion & fervor for MOPS. I saw the potential of the ministry and I was really excited to launch our full program in the Fall. I felt full of ideas & inspiration. And instead of it being draining, it was life giving.
Sometimes, we just have to decide.
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So I ask you this: is there an area you feel God speaking to you or challenging you in or maybe you feel a nudging of the spirit… but you come up with excuses? Every part of you wants to retreat? Thanks, but no thanks? I want to challenge you to just try it. Just commit to it for a time, and see how God uses you. How God can change your heart, and maybe even what blessings may come your way if you surrender that part of your life to him.
In Love,
Monika
